Quit smoking campaigns are great examples of how NOT to make a lasting change in your life.
Many of them lack one essential ingredient that would allow most smokers to give up smoking, immediately and effortlessly, forever.
Even if you don’t smoke, you need to know what that ingredient is since, without it, you’ll never be able to make a long term change in your life, or to help another person to do so.
Just the facts?
No doubt that knowledge is power. Quit smoking forums are full of images of black lungs, skulls and crossbones and a list as long as your arm of diseases that you can get from smoking.
But any smoker will tell you that knowledge in the form of scare statistics alone actually make it more difficult to stop smoking, not easier. Now you’ve got a bunch of reasons to leave but no where to go.
So, no, not just the facts, please.
Stop pushing!
And then there’s the “will power” crowd. They’ll tell you that you just need to use mind over matter and “tough it out.” You probably know some of those as well. While it feels good to push away and feel the distance, without the negative reference point, you lose your orientation.
Problem is, sooner or later, you’ll stop pushing. Since there are no alternatives, you’re right back where you started.
Didn’t those guys quit for a while? Isn’t it odd that they seem happier and less confused since they started smoking again?
Both the brute force will power folks and the knowledge is power group will get you to do something that is essential for change. They get you to focus. The problem is that you’ll be fixated on the problem and not the solution. And just like the fly mesmerized by the light, you’ll keep circling the one thing that you want to free yourself from.
Options, Options, Options
NLP founders John Grinder and Richard Bandler said it well: If you have one option, you have no choice at all ( remember the fly?). When you add a second option, you create a dilemma (will power: not THIS but THAT).
It’s when you create a third option that you have the one ingredient which will set you free: You give yourself true CHOICE.
Choice brings with it the dimension of freedom. You’re no longer limited to accepting the status quo or futilely rebelling against it.
With three or more options, you can choose to leave and you’re free to return. But why return when it’s not working and there are other avenues to explore? Now you can travel a third path that takes you far from the first two. Or you can come back – and test the waters again. Combined with the knowledge of the benefits and dangers of each, you can choose what suits you best.
Ask anybody who has successfully given up smoking and not returned weather they ever consider smoking again. I think you’ll be surprised to find that the thought doesn’t scare them. They just have gained a deep understanding of the negative aspects and have found that there are other options that have more benefits.
They don’t need to push away from smoking. They are truly free of the necessity of picking up another cigarette.
The decision of the ex-smoker to stop smoking is deep, intuitive and lasting.
Choice enables you to open your mind to myth-busting knowledge and take action.
So the question is how do you create options for yourself and for others.
You can learn from smokers. Smokers have the advantage of being able to concretely measure their progress. It’s simple. Either they’re putting a cigarette in their mouth or they’re not.
In order to kick the habit of smoking, you have to understand at an intuitive level how the mind works. Hypnotherapy and NLP both give us insights into the mind.
Hypnosis is my favorite, because you don’t even need to explain that people walk around in altered states all day long. You can simply tell stories that put images in people’s minds that alter their state and give them a new perspective.
“How would you feel if your breath were always fresh and your teeth always sparkly white? Picture in your mind how you would walk if you were free of cigarettes and all the effects. Feel the confident strides and the power in your legs. Take a deep breath, the breath of someone who has been smoke free for a long time. Notice how deeply you can breathe. Feel how with each breath you feel energized and empowered….”
How do you give yourself choice and what is the effect when you take action on a new option? Leave a comment below. I appreciate your thoughts.
